A study has found that the majority of Earth’s landmass will be Phoenix suburbs by 2050. According to the Onion, researchers at Syracuse University have predicted that in 35 years from now, the suburban area surrounding metro Phoenix will have expanded to occupy nearly 70% of all land on Earth. Spreading like an enormous nuclear-mutated amoeba, roughly 137 million square miles across six continents will be consumed by Phoenix metro area urban sprawl. The consequences will include traffic congestion during rush hour, with the researchers predicting that the daily commutes of workers driving in from the suburbs could take as much as 1,200 to 1,400 hours. The good news is that the Phoenix metro area will finally have beach front properties!